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College and University Discussion
Reply to "Please. Stop. Blaming. Others."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am really sorry that so many kids are hurting right now because of the college rejections. It hurts, I know. Especially when your child has worked hard and seems to be well qualified for these schools by objective measures, like GPA and test scores. My DC is one of these kids, having just been rejected or WL from seven schools over the last two weeks (and rejected ED in December). The fact is, many schools are simply flooded with applications from well qualified students and cannot accept them all. So they make tough decisions and make decisions based on very quick reviews of applications, many of which are basically indistinguishable from one another. In some cases, they may look "unfair" because we see other kids in our orbit getting into the same school that our kid gets rejected from and we can't imagine what that kid had that ours didn't. So, to make ourselves and our kids feel better, there is so much blaming--blaming other "lesser" URM kids, "lesser" public schools with grade inflation, "yield protection", etc[b].....and it is not fair to the kids who did get in.[/b] And, to be honest, it's not good for our own kids--it only feeds grievances. Let's teach them graciousness and grit. It will serve everyone better. [b]So, to all the kids out there who were accepted to Rice, Hopkins, Wash U, Rice, Northeastern, CMU, Northwestern: Congratulations to you! You deserve it! You are worthy of that acceptance. You earned it.[/b] [/quote] Have you ever thought, ...it is not fair to the kids who didn't get in? [/quote] Why was unfair? The odds at most of these schools are 10:1. So the kid played long odds at multiple schools and lost. Everyone knows the odds going in. From what we hear here, many, many “high stats” kids did not get into their long odds choices, so it’s nothing personal to your kid. They had a 90% chance of this outcome. Why are you shocked? I get it that they worked hard. Many kids did (even kids with lower stats) and that work ethic will help them in the work world. They will succeed elsewhere unless they become bitter, so be careful what you are modeling. It’s normal to be disappointed, but ruminating is not normal or helpful.[/quote]
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