Reply to Do you feel comfortable approaching your parents for help with large expenses?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Unless we were at risk of starving, I would never ask my parents for money.  Adults pay their own way.  [/quote]

You never asked or hinted at wedding help or 'oh we'd love this $3,000 set from pottery barn' or complained about daycare expenses for so long they gave in?

I find the American passive-aggressive attitude to get around 'norms' and not admit you've asked for help annoying. You either got the help by asking or whining.[/quote]

DP, but NO! Oh my, if I can't afford the 3k PB set, I don't get it! This is why there is so much debt in America, all the "wants" that they think are needs.[/quote]

I do find it weird to equate $3k for overpriced furniture from PB with daycare expenses. Very different! My kids aren't grown yet, but I can tell you right now if my child was like "I really like this sofa but can't afford it" I'd offer to help look for a less expensive dupe. But if my child was like "Things are really tight right now because we are paying $2k/mo for daycare until Larla turns 1 year and we are just barely getting by" I'd absolutely kick in money to help them through that time. Completely different situations.

There is NOTHING wrong with families helping each other financially. It's normal and the only people who disagree are people who have bought into this weird American boot-strap individualism. In most parts of the world, the idea that you could have a family member struggling with bills, and have the ability to help them, but choose not to because of some idea that everyone should pay their own way? It's considered pathological.

But no one "needs" expensive furniture and buying that for an adult with a job is strange to me. I mean, if you are loaded and you don't care either way, I get it. But otherwise that's just such an unnecessary gift. They can save up and buy it if they love it that much.[/quote]

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