Reply to s/o finding a half sibling placed in adoption

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If your mother is alive you need to let this be her decision or the decision of the person placed for adoption. You can NOT drive this - that's inappropriate.[/quote]

Sorry. But it is appropriate,  as the birtgh mother actually isn't entitled to privacy of who is related to whom.  The adult child is allowed privacy once he or she indicates they aren't interested,  but, keep in mind this relationship affects absolutely everyone...the children and grandchildren of these people, the father that no one mentions, and his family. [/quote]

The birth mom is absolutely entitled to privacy and at the time of adoption was promised it.[/quote]

You are several decades  off. Here are some other tried and true mandates from this time:
Women who were unmarried couldn't keep their babies.

Young women ( teens)  couldn't keep their babies

Thousands upon thousands of Catholic babies were literally stolen from unmarried women. Additionally,  there are graveyards of babies all over  Ireland and the US

Pregnant and unmarried women were shunned from society, while the fathers had no responsibility.

Young women were kept in maternity homes and sedated often.

Babies were often sold to rich white families. Babies were sold under the table to ethnic families who were prevented from  adopting out of their ethnicity.

Even today,  a well off parent will adopt because a poor mother can't afford to keep her baby. This is a consumer driven elitist situation.

There were lots of private adoptions,  which is another word for the sale of children.

Privacy was promised because of shame  of the mother and to keep the identity of the father safe. These were social mores of the time based upon religious and misogynistic principles.

There's no "privacy" granted when it comes to a person's identity. Adoptees aren't puppies.  Regardless,  it no longer matters. DNA has entirely changed this antiquated notion of any privacy. There was never any privacy. [/quote]

You are wrong.  There are all kinds of adoptions today and some birth mom's still want their privacy.

The same things that happened then, still happen today.  There are lots of ethical and unethical adoptions.

But, if a birth mom wants no contact, that should be respected.

Lots of reasons including rape, affairs, etc.[/quote]

Then the birth mother will indicate that upon contact,  and then it is inappropriate to continue to seek contact after that. However, thd child absolutely  has every right to know who his biological family is and what the circumstances were. Siblings,  everyone. No, the mother does not have a say in biological destiny, and she has zero rights in keeping the child away from other family members...his siblings,  etc. [/quote]

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