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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Been with my husband for decades, and it’s crazy to me that he still doesn’t know his parents or siblings’ birthdays. Not just forgetting them, but doesn’t remember the dates at all. Sometimes he remembers the months. Also one of his parents birthday is a week after our oldest child’s birthday and we always used to celebrate it together, pretty much every year. And when I remind him, he is always surprised that their birthdays are close together.  I’ve tried putting them on our shared calendar but he never looks at it or ignores the reminders.

How can I help him remember them more independently?  He also doesn’t always know our children’s birthdays.d[/quote]

Don’t.  After many years of trying to help with adding reminders for birthdays to send texts / make calls, and also reminders for when to buy cards or send gifts, and them being ignored, I stopped.  He is in charge of his family, and I won’t take on any guilt for him not caring enough to do anything anymore.

I take care of my own side of the family, and I buy the gifts for our kids, and I plan the dinners to celebrate their birthdays.  I don’t tell the kids DH doesn’t get involved in planning them or buying gifts or anything, though it’s become clear to them as they’ve gotten older and he is surprised to see what they get as they open it.  I do remind him the morning of so he does say happy birthday.

Is this ideal? No.  But I can’t change him.[/quote]

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