Reply to Birth order character traits/problems

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Birth order character traits/problems"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t think about people’s birth order at all. I think this a very odd way to characterize your interactions with others. I don’t even know the birth order of most people unless they are typically close friends already — so I don’t have issues with them to start with.[/quote]
Same here. Plus I wouldn’t normally think youngest in large family gets accommodated. The youngers usually have to go along with whatever is already in place for the older kids.[/quote]

This.  I usually see the youngest as the most flexible.  They're the ones who are always being dragged along to the older kids' athletic games or performances and by the time they are old enough to play on a team themselves the older kids are off doing their own things independently.  It can be tough being the youngest (and I say this as the one who was the oldest kid of my family).[/quote]

I think this could be a perspective thing, and it's sort of both.

In large families, older siblings are often expected to include the youngest in activities, but also expected to make sure the youngest doesn't get hurt or offended or left out. That's a ton of accommodation, and not something all kids get. I do think this can lead youngest children to expect to be included in things, and to expect to be treated a bit more carefully than others, because of the constant "be nice to Timmy, he's not as big as you are!" That becomes part of your identity and you don't realize that other people were not granted that level of accommodation.

But I also think all this accommodation can make youngest siblings pretty easy-going. Both because on some level they know they can't be too demanding of older siblings or risk being abandoned, and also because hearing their parents constantly tell their siblings to "be nice" or "help them out" or whatever makes them feel pretty securely loved.

I think middle children often have it hardest because they often get stuck with the worst aspects of being a younger sibling and an older sibling. Middle kids are often ultra-flexible ("natural compromisers" is the term I've heard) but also expected to be more mature and care for young siblings. A lot of the women I know who are middle siblings are super competent but can risk being doormats. It's just a tough position to be in. At least being oldest or youngest confers certain status.

On the other hand, sometimes being overlooked can be a a positive. I was a bit neglected as a child and that has some negatives but one of the positives is that I'm very independent and figured out how to take care of myself early. I think it allowed me to develop a unique personality and interests without parental intervention, which is nice. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics