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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote] I usually see the youngest as the most flexible. They're the ones who are always being dragged along to the older kids' athletic games or performances and by the time they are old enough to play on a team themselves the older kids are off doing their own things independently[/quote]

I was glad to read this. I knew my brother's lives very well, their friends, their activities. I was there. I was present. I had no where else to go. They don't know me in the same way, not at all. They really know little about my friends (so much younger), the specifics of my activities, what my growing up was like apart from being an appendage to their lives.

As an adult you have to insist on an equal peer relationship with your siblings and that can be hard to achieve given the pattern[/quote]

Yes!  I've always noticed the same thing, and have  felt a little bit... insignificant, or kind of insulted that my older brother seems to know/remember so little about me. When we're reminiscing with the family about growing up, he doesn't connect with a lot of the things I talk about. Yet, I remember his friends and sports and jobs. It's a small thing but it's definitely present when, for example, my dad brought up some funny story about my good friend and I in middle school. This friend has a"famous" last name for our area, is related to a major family who are a common household name locally. I went to family events with them and got to sit in box seats and front rows at major league baseball games with them. All sorts of fun stuff. My brother had no idea I was friends with this girl. It just struck me as odd... Did my parents never mention it to him? He was 5 years older so he just wasn't around I guess. I knew the names of all of his friends and anything big and special he got to do with them. 
[/quote]

This story is literally "I'm mad my older sibling didn't know all the details of this cool friend I had in middle school who got me into awesome events where I got to do great things, and I resent it." Like... what? This is some classic youngest sibling stuff here.

I'm guessing your older brother was in HS or college when you were in MS. Tell me, when you were in HS or college, were you focusing a lot of attention on what was happening with a MS kid? Or were you very focused on beginning your adult life? Do you think maybe it's unfair to expect your older sibling to be different than you in that respect? It would be different if you were upset that your parents didn't know basic stuff about your MS experience because they were focused on your older siblings. But that's not it -- your dad knew all about it and was explaining it to your brother. But your brother is not your dad. He gets a chance to live his life, and it doesn't nave to focus on yours anymore than yours needs to focus on his.

Both the PPs here kind of demonstrate the skewed perspective of many youngest children. You are holding older siblings to parental standards (your siblings are not your parents), ignoring basic facts of what your sibling might have gone through or is still going through, and fixating entirely on the impact on you.

Not knowing about your MS friend does not mean your sibling thinks you are insignificant. It might just mean they were studying for SATs or picking a college or taking their first college exams when that was going on, and did not have the mental bandwidth to focus closely on your day-to-day. That's okay. That's why you have parents.[/quote]

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