Reply to Is there a way to bring up an SO's weight gain without hurting feelings?

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Reply to "Is there a way to bring up an SO's weight gain without hurting feelings?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm married to and in love with a fat guy with health issues...some are the result of being a fat guy, and some are resulting in him being a fat guy. It's not one easy linear issue. He knows. Believe me, he knows. Here's what I'm doing my best to do about it.

I am reminding myself that fat and food shaming him out of frustration and fear will not help. It will hurt.

I am reminding myself that he IS working on it. And he may not "win." It is not a thing to win at. He is doing the best he can to address his health issues.

I am reminding myself that I had damn well better enjoy the present and stay in it instead of dreading what the future brings. 
[b]
I am talking to MY therapist about the feelings that go with all this. I can't expect my spouse to hold that water. And I am navigating with HER my feelings about possibly siding into more of a caregiving role[/b]. [/quote]

St what point will you address this with him? You aren't married to your therapist.[/quote]

Very good and fair question. Understand that this isn't a new issue in our relationship at this point. I have periodically told him all the stuff one would expect about loving him, wanting him to last, and being afraid of losing him. I encourage healthy decisions and being proactive. I have broached the subject with him of feeling myself pulling away sometimes because I'm afraid of losing him. What I DON'T do anymore, or try not to, is freak out on him if he eats fast food for breakfast or stashes bags of candy in the car for road trips. I don't have a crying jag at him because he's fat and the scale fluctuated the wrong way. [/quote]

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