Reply to Every sign, signal, Instinct, etc in the world is telling me to leave

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Reply to "Every sign, signal, Instinct, etc in the world is telling me to leave"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Today's issue: He says I am a horrible communicator. That I complain about things he does/doesnt do, but then don't follow up or give specifics on how to further address the issue. His words: if you want to adjust something with finances, say something. If you want to adjust something re division of labor, suggest it..."
I suggested we sit down this weekend at a specific time, that I will take the weekend to come up with specific details, answers, proposals etc to the issues we have identified. I asked if tomorrow at 8pm works for him for our talk:

his reply:  Maybe. I don’t have anything to talk about until you put more effort into responding.

uhhhhhh okie dokie. The person complaining about my inability to communicate well (to his standards/liking)  and asking me to follow through....is responding by being passive aggressive and not following through. Cool.[/quote]

Then go to therapy to learn how to communicate w each other. [/quote]

Get out a pad of paper and make a list and give it to him.  One list is problems/issues you have and for each, what he can do to make it better. [/quote]

Definitely will do this. Thank you! And i agree it will not only be productive but make me feel better to write and detail it out
I was just caught off guard by what I feel is a childish response…seems bizarre to say to someone “I’m frustrated at your lack of communication- what’s your plan to address this in our relationship? I don’t want time and space to be reasons to avoid conversations.” I offer an invitation a time and a plan…and the response is “maybe. Until you out more effort into responding I don’t have anything to talk about”

Legit what kind of response is that [/quote]

Admittedly not a great response on his part.  He says you do not communicate well but when you set up a time to talk he is resistant to doing that until you’ve given him a list of grievances.  That’s pretty controlling and inflexible.  It also sounds like he is totally focused on what the fixes are.  That is pretty typical for some men.  Doesn’t think you communicate well because you express a feeling but don’t tell him how to fix it.  If the problems are how he makes you feel, then you should describe it that way.  How you feel about his behavior is not something he can deny or dispute.  [/quote]

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