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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I forgot to add:

(1) we don’t use him for childcare ever 
(2) the kids were in camp the last time we visited him 
(3) we took the kids out every day as I absolutely acknowledge that they were stressors for him. We limited their interactions as much as possible. 
(4) we have zero plans for another extended visit to his house
(5) my father In law is relatively young and healthy
(6) he has an expectation of being “served” for lack of a better word. He doesn’t help out around our house or his house when he visits and expects me to clean up after him and making him all his meals. When I told him gently lunch would be very simple since i work full time, he didn’t really listen to care.

I am absolutely in agreement that he worked hard his whole life and deserves to enjoy his retirement, but I think there should be a balance between being courteous and helpful to us by cleaning up after himself and not attacking my daughter. I also would never demand my husband not see him. [/quote]

Wow. You are a saint.

First your husband absolutely has to run interference and he has to come hone early from work. Abd as for you, WTF are you doing serving him???? Anytime he asks you for something, stay seated and say “DH your dad needs something.” Redirect every time.

Before he comes you absolutely need to talk to your husband about standing up for your daughter. This is not negotiable. Your FIL cannot come into your daughter’s house and treat her like dirt. Two weeks is way too long. Your child needs you and her father to stand up for her. I have a 7 year old too. She will remember this and  this will affect your future relationship.

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