Reply to Very critical and judgmental female friends and family members

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because so many women close their minds and stop being interesting after age 25. After they get married and have kids, they just want to protect their little domains, and they look down on anyone who lives their lives differently. [/quote]

This is harsh and I don’t entirely agree with it, but if there’s any kernel of truth here, I think it’s evolutionary. We’re all essentially mama polar bears teaching our cubs to survive in the wild. Society doesn’t always look kindly on people who go against the grain, and moms are disproportionately blamed for everything “wrong” with the their children, particularly if they’re girls. So when they’re overly critical, they might be attempting to smooth a path before their kid, but also protecting their own image. And it become a vicious cycle, generation after generation.[/quote]

This does not explain why women do it to their peers though. I agree with PPs that it's not every woman (or even a majority) but I have absolutely encountered women who are extremely critical of other women's parenting or the way they keep their house or manage their marriage. Actually -- ha -- we've all seen it because that behavior is extremely prevalent on this website! Go check out the baby name thread going on right now where multiple women are explaining that they judge and eyeroll other women who give their babies more popular names. That's exactly the kind of behavior I've encountered IRL too -- judgment of super personal choices that do not impact the person doing the criticizing at all.

I have always assumed it comes from a place of unacknowledged insecurity. Everyone has insecurities, but some people really fear that side of themselves and refuse to admit to themselves or others that they ever worry about anything. And I think that translates to acting superior, judging people, or putting others down. It's a way of asserting power to help them get over that nagging feeling in the back of their mind that maybe they might not have it all figured out, which terrifies them.

Or at least that's my armchair diagnosis. I avoid people like this in my personal life but have encountered it at work more than once. It seems most common in women with school age kids or teens, I have no idea why since I've never had either.[/quote]

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