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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I already replied in this thread that yes, I do apologize and I find myself doing so more frequently now that my oldest is a teen. My screw ups feel heavier all of a sudden.

But I’m also thinking a lot about how my own mom used to come knocking on my bedroom door to apologize occasionally, and how it weirdly exposed some weaknesses/vulnerabilities in her that I didn’t necessarily want to see as a kid/teen. My sense was that she was coming to me out of guilt, not respect. It was more about making herself feel better than anything. I don’t know, just a thought. I guess maybe there’s a right way and a wrong way to handle apologies, and it’s all very dependent on the existing dynamic in the relationship.[/quote]

I'd like to hear more about your thoughts on this, as someone trying to make sure how i relate to my kids is based on their feelings and needs more than my own. [/quote]

Not the PP, but I think it's about whether you are apologizing because you want your kid to absolve you or tell you what you did/said was okay or reassure you that you're a good mom or whatever.  That's apologizing to satisfy your own needs and desires.  You apologize because you did something wrong, and you want your kid to know that it was wrong and that they didn't deserve to be treated that way.  [/quote]

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