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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t apologize for things that aren’t my fault, but are nonetheless disappointing to kids. I do empathize with them over things like broken toys, cancelled events, etc. I don’t rush to make it better, I just acknowledge that yes, it hurts or is frustrating.

I don’t blame my kids for things - I blame their choices. My parents blamed me a lot and implied that bad things happened to me because of who I am (i.e. I'm a bad person). Instead of telling my kids - “why are you always so wild / loud / impulsive” I try to focus on the actual behavior or choice I want to change and teach them an alternate option I think is acceptable. “If you put your toys there, they could get stepped on and broken. Let’s place it out of the walkway or on this table.” instead of my parents waiting until the toy was broken and then screaming “why are you always so careless? You don’t deserve toys”.

When I make a mistake or react / behave in a way I would not want my kids to repeat, I apologize. I also point out when I make mistakes that don’t impact them, take responsibility, and show them how I fixed it or moved on. I think kids need to be taught these skills. [/quote]

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