Reply to s/o What from your pre-kid life best prepared you for being a parent?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pretty much nothing prepared me. I also don't find having kids to be hard. It's the external factors that make it excruciating- $$$ daycare, covid closures, school hours that don't match work hours AT ALL, and all the million breaks that mean I need to line up camps or use annual leave. I'm convinced schools are against working parents.

Having loving married parents and loving families helped a lot. DH and I both had great childhoods. [b]They say you raise your family the same way you were raised[/b].[/quote]

I'm sure this helps a ton but I had a terrible childhood and am a great parent, and am raising my own kid very different to the way I was raised. But it takes a lot of work to do this. And you have to start the work well before you have kids. A lot of people go through life never really questioning whether their parents did the right thing. If you had abusive and/or emotionally immature parents, you HAVE to recognize that your parents made huge mistakes and find new role models and train yourself to respond differently. It took me years to get to that point and only then did I have a kid. I'm so glad that I waited a long time and did the hard work. Kids will push you to your limit and if you haven't found a way to reprogram your stress response to be different than that of an abusive parent, you absolutely will fall back on their behavior.

I think people with loving, calm, emotionally mature parents have a huge leg up in terms of becoming parents. On the other hand, this is a remarkably small group of people in the world. Most people have some form of childhood trauma, sadly.[/quote]

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