Reply to If you don't enjoy family, in laws, give me your best tips for the holidays?

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Reply to "If you don't enjoy family, in laws, give me your best tips for the holidays?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them. [/quote]

This is me.[/quote]

Same. Except they run me completely ragged. They are all over my inlaws tiny house, I'm picking up nonstop because there's no place to put toys or hang coats even. They're always wanting drinks (we bring cups because inlaws only have glass and my kids broke several last time! ugh), snacks. It's SO damn exhausting. After Thanksgiving I felt like I needed a week's vacation.

Kinda jealous of the woman knitting or the woman sitting in a coffee shop. I hand embroider but it's hard to even imagine having time for something like that at inlaws. Kids are just 10x worse there and sleep worse than at home.

So my tips: sleeping pills help me sleep and not toss and turn on bad mattresses and sheets, bringing snacks and food for the kids to tide them over when there's no lunch (they like a big breakfast and big dinner, my kids like big lunch) that I keep in my room. [/quote]

Question:

These are all great ideas, but if the goal is to go somewhere and then just not be there - physically or mentally or emotionally- why go at all?[/quote]

Inlaws don't care at all about their DIL. They want to see their son and grandchildren. Although I will say that when men disappear, no one bats and eye. But women are questioned when they disappear because that means they aren't helping cook/clean/corral kids.[/quote]

+1 million this is so true. With my IL’s it’s 90% my husband they want to see and like 10% the kids. Since I’m mom, I’m just the child minder, and I have to be extremely on top of the kids at all times because none of the other adults there (IL’s, SIL and BIL, and another BIL) aren’t going to lift a finger to help. [/quote]

Same. They just want to see my husband and then have the kids behave perfectly, hug them on command, and be cute/entertaining at what they deem to be appropriate times.

Also, since they mostly just want to see DH, they dominate all his time and get annoyed with me if I ask him to help with the kids. My BIL has told me several times that it’s unreasonable to expect DH to focus on the kids because “we never get to see him.” Such a childish approach to the whole thing. My DH doesn’t even like them! We visit out of obligation. Luckily it’s just a couple times a year. They never travel to us.[/quote]

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