Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.

This is me.

Same. Except they run me completely ragged. They are all over my inlaws tiny house, I'm picking up nonstop because there's no place to put toys or hang coats even. They're always wanting drinks (we bring cups because inlaws only have glass and my kids broke several last time! ugh), snacks. It's SO damn exhausting. After Thanksgiving I felt like I needed a week's vacation.

Kinda jealous of the woman knitting or the woman sitting in a coffee shop. I hand embroider but it's hard to even imagine having time for something like that at inlaws. Kids are just 10x worse there and sleep worse than at home.

So my tips: sleeping pills help me sleep and not toss and turn on bad mattresses and sheets, bringing snacks and food for the kids to tide them over when there's no lunch (they like a big breakfast and big dinner, my kids like big lunch) that I keep in my room.

Question:

These are all great ideas, but if the goal is to go somewhere and then just not be there - physically or mentally or emotionally- why go at all?

Inlaws don't care at all about their DIL. They want to see their son and grandchildren. Although I will say that when men disappear, no one bats and eye. But women are questioned when they disappear because that means they aren't helping cook/clean/corral kids.

+1 million this is so true. With my IL’s it’s 90% my husband they want to see and like 10% the kids. Since I’m mom, I’m just the child minder, and I have to be extremely on top of the kids at all times because none of the other adults there (IL’s, SIL and BIL, and another BIL) aren’t going to lift a finger to help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.

This is me.

Same. Except they run me completely ragged. They are all over my inlaws tiny house, I'm picking up nonstop because there's no place to put toys or hang coats even. They're always wanting drinks (we bring cups because inlaws only have glass and my kids broke several last time! ugh), snacks. It's SO damn exhausting. After Thanksgiving I felt like I needed a week's vacation.

Kinda jealous of the woman knitting or the woman sitting in a coffee shop. I hand embroider but it's hard to even imagine having time for something like that at inlaws. Kids are just 10x worse there and sleep worse than at home.

So my tips: sleeping pills help me sleep and not toss and turn on bad mattresses and sheets, bringing snacks and food for the kids to tide them over when there's no lunch (they like a big breakfast and big dinner, my kids like big lunch) that I keep in my room.

Question:

These are all great ideas, but if the goal is to go somewhere and then just not be there - physically or mentally or emotionally- why go at all?

Inlaws don't care at all about their DIL. They want to see their son and grandchildren. Although I will say that when men disappear, no one bats and eye. But women are questioned when they disappear because that means they aren't helping cook/clean/corral kids.

Anonymous wrote:My family is really difficult. Short of physically getting away from these folks, as a PP wisely suggested, you can propose a low-key activity like a board game, puzzle, or Christmas movie. Sure, you may still have to listen to someone annoyingly yammer about their Scrabble score, but I find the activity is often more tolerable than sitting around and talking. You can also say you’re going for a run but instead walk down the street for a cigarette. Whatever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.

This is me.

Same. Except they run me completely ragged. They are all over my inlaws tiny house, I'm picking up nonstop because there's no place to put toys or hang coats even. They're always wanting drinks (we bring cups because inlaws only have glass and my kids broke several last time! ugh), snacks. It's SO damn exhausting. After Thanksgiving I felt like I needed a week's vacation.

Kinda jealous of the woman knitting or the woman sitting in a coffee shop. I hand embroider but it's hard to even imagine having time for something like that at inlaws. Kids are just 10x worse there and sleep worse than at home.

So my tips: sleeping pills help me sleep and not toss and turn on bad mattresses and sheets, bringing snacks and food for the kids to tide them over when there's no lunch (they like a big breakfast and big dinner, my kids like big lunch) that I keep in my room.

Question:

These are all great ideas, but if the goal is to go somewhere and then just not be there - physically or mentally or emotionally- why go at all?

Anonymous wrote:My family is really difficult. Short of physically getting away from these folks, as a PP wisely suggested, you can propose a low-key activity like a board game, puzzle, or Christmas movie. Sure, you may still have to listen to someone annoyingly yammer about their Scrabble score, but I find the activity is often more tolerable than sitting around and talking. You can also say you’re going for a run but instead walk down the street for a cigarette. Whatever.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.

This is me.

Same. Except they run me completely ragged. They are all over my inlaws tiny house, I'm picking up nonstop because there's no place to put toys or hang coats even. They're always wanting drinks (we bring cups because inlaws only have glass and my kids broke several last time! ugh), snacks. It's SO damn exhausting. After Thanksgiving I felt like I needed a week's vacation.

Kinda jealous of the woman knitting or the woman sitting in a coffee shop. I hand embroider but it's hard to even imagine having time for something like that at inlaws. Kids are just 10x worse there and sleep worse than at home.

So my tips: sleeping pills help me sleep and not toss and turn on bad mattresses and sheets, bringing snacks and food for the kids to tide them over when there's no lunch (they like a big breakfast and big dinner, my kids like big lunch) that I keep in my room.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.

This is me.

Same. Except they run me completely ragged. They are all over my inlaws tiny house, I'm picking up nonstop because there's no place to put toys or hang coats even. They're always wanting drinks (we bring cups because inlaws only have glass and my kids broke several last time! ugh), snacks. It's SO damn exhausting. After Thanksgiving I felt like I needed a week's vacation.

Kinda jealous of the woman knitting or the woman sitting in a coffee shop. I hand embroider but it's hard to even imagine having time for something like that at inlaws. Kids are just 10x worse there and sleep worse than at home.

So my tips: sleeping pills help me sleep and not toss and turn on bad mattresses and sheets, bringing snacks and food for the kids to tide them over when there's no lunch (they like a big breakfast and big dinner, my kids like big lunch) that I keep in my room.

Question:

These are all great ideas, but if the goal is to go somewhere and then just not be there - physically or mentally or emotionally- why go at all?

Anonymous wrote:Agree with making yourself comfortable. My visits to my ILs got a bit better when I invested in some really cozy long underwear (they live in a very cold locale) and I always bring a couple of my favorite cozy sweaters and a big blanket scarf, plus house slippers. Being physically comfortable is big.

I also took up crochet to deal with awkwardness there. I'm terrible and rarely get anywhere with it, but it gives me something to focus on and I find it kind of relaxing. Also, a thing my ILs love to do is just sit around the living room watching cable news and talking about neighbors and old friends and other people I don't know. I hate it, but there are few other places to go. So I often crochet right through it. I'll also excuse myself for a nap but you can do that, max, once a day before people start asking if you are sick or pregnant.

Another thing I do is pick out a couple local destinations when I visit that I genuinely look forward to. One is a local restaurant and the other a bakery/coffee shop. If one of them doesn't make my husband's schedule, I'll just excuse myself to go to one or the other and take my laptop, claiming work (which I usually do have some of but I often don't even bother to work -- it's just to get a break).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.

This is me.

Same. Except they run me completely ragged. They are all over my inlaws tiny house, I'm picking up nonstop because there's no place to put toys or hang coats even. They're always wanting drinks (we bring cups because inlaws only have glass and my kids broke several last time! ugh), snacks. It's SO damn exhausting. After Thanksgiving I felt like I needed a week's vacation.

Kinda jealous of the woman knitting or the woman sitting in a coffee shop. I hand embroider but it's hard to even imagine having time for something like that at inlaws. Kids are just 10x worse there and sleep worse than at home.

So my tips: sleeping pills help me sleep and not toss and turn on bad mattresses and sheets, bringing snacks and food for the kids to tide them over when there's no lunch (they like a big breakfast and big dinner, my kids like big lunch) that I keep in my room.

Anonymous wrote:Wait long enough and they’ll die.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.

This is me.

Anonymous wrote:I give zero energy to my ILs and focus on our young children. They easily take up 200% of my energy! I play games with them, read books with them, clean up toys with them.