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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am so sorry they are being so difficult. Don't give them so many chances to be obstinant. Hear them out if they hear you out and if you can't agree on something, proceed knowing you gave it a shot. Don't tell them you have poa just yet but do tell them you will act in the best course to provide her care. I cannot believe they would be so selfish, are you sure you're not leaving out some detail? Attachment to physical things should not be greater than that to their mom.[/quote]

I swear on my soul there is nothing I’ve left out.  Each time I try and have a reasonable conversation about her money for her care  they both start yelling and talking over me and won’t let me get a word in. Things like, “we’re not selling off properties and throwing away the money”! and “you’re not making any decisions about moms assets without our consent!” and “why does she need a private caregiver when she’s already at assisted living, don’t  they watch her all day”!   Ugh  :( [/quote]

This being the case I recommend you get an eldercare advocate or attorney involved. Preferably male. Preferably as old or older than them. Sorry, I realize that's sexist, but you need two things here - 1) someone to tell them what's what as far as what will fund your mother's care, etc. Have a pre-meet with this person and make crystal clear that this conversation is informative and not a debate. Your mother is where she needs to be and HER assets will be liquidated to fund her care via the POA that YOU hold; and 2) to give you cover and relieve some of your own guilt and conflict over this.

And I would not wait. The old saying that "possession is 9/10ths of the law" is absolutely true. The longer you let this go the worse it will be.[/quote]

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