Reply to Christmas gift ideas for my kids' bio-mom...? HELP!!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like most of these things centered around their names or birthdates would be a painful reminder.  One of my relatives has a child that severed ties with her due to joining a cult and any mention of them basically sends her into a depressive tail spin. Maybe pictures that she can look at and then put away?
The answer might also differ based on whether you are bio dad, adoptive parent, foster parent, or step mom.[/quote]

I am their stepmom, and I completely I get your point. The best way to explain the dynamic is that she doesn't care about having any relationship with the kids, she cares about [i]portraying[/i] that she has a relationship with the kids - if that makes sense. She likes to post things on social media that make her look like she did all these amazing, fun things with the kids, but she had zero interest in actually [i]doing[/i] any of those things with them. Her concern is only about how she looks to others.[/quote]

Dp.

Why even bother getting her a gift when you have such a low opinion of her?  Who are you trying to impress?[/quote]

Well, she did say that she gives these gifts in hopes that the mom will leave the kids alone. I kind of get it – she’s hoping that the public appearance of a relationship will be enough for the mom.

So you’re the stepmom, and married to the kids’ biodad.  Do these kids have an actual adoptive mother as well, or are you just calling her the biomom because you (correctly, from your telling) think that she doesn’t deserve the title of mother? Have her parental rights actually been terminated?  The vibe is very very different in an actual open adoption situation. [/quote]

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