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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like I constantly get railroaded by my family. In general but especially during the holidays. I’ll do things they want (like attending my DH’s aunts big Thanksgiving gathering even though I’d prefer doing something smaller that involves less travel) thinking then I’ll be able to do what I want. But here we are the next day and I want to do a quiet family day at home with MIL, just relaxing and watching movies, making going for a walk at some point. But my DH wants to go on this “grand tour” of visiting friends (since we are in his hometown). I really don’t want to. They are his friends from high school and I am all small talked out after yesterday and also don’t want to drag DC around. But when I said this he got all hurt like I was taking something precious away. I told him he could go but I want to stay home. Instead he’s sitting around pouting, ruining the relaxing afternoon I wanted.

This always happens. It’s the same with my parents and brother. People just push and push and if I push back, I’m the bad guy. I think part of the problem is that when I do the stuff for others, even if I do t love it, I don’t let it show. I was pleasant and friendly at dinner yesterday even though it wasn’t really my thing and I hardly knew anyone there. My DH takes this to mean that I got to do something I enjoyed. But to me that’s just polite, plus I can find a way to enjoy at least some aspect of most things. But no one else seems to have this skill and as a result I feel like I spend my life accommodating other people’s needs.

How do I change this dynamic? [/quote]

Omg this describes my entire life, OP! I bet we would be good friends.  Will follow in case there any helpful ideas. [/quote]

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