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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am going to warn you now, this will get worse after the divorce. You having a close relationship with your BIL ex will negatively impact your husbands relationship with his brother and the extended family dynamics in general.

Not saying you need to cut ties with her, but you will need to distance yourself.[/quote]

I am planning to take a huge step back from my relationship with SIL. After much thought, discussion w my husband, (and reading the responses here!), I think SIL was likely using her closeness w me to create a wedge between BIL and DH. This is unfortunate bc I thought she was not only my SIL but a friend and this feels like a mean and tricky thing for her to do. She is so angry w BIL though that I can see her just trying to hurt him in any way and she knows it would hurt him if he thought DH and I were in any way on “her side.” I’m not going to say anything more to either of them right now but want to try to make it clear to BIL that we care about and support him and also I will never discuss (even a seemingly benign comment) the state of their relationship or of BIL in general w SIL again. In fact, I plan to avoid talking to her at all for awhile.

They do have 2 kids who we adore so if nothing else we need to keep our relationships w both of them in tact for  the kids’ sake/so we can continue to be in the kids’ lives. We need to tread lightly here I think.[/quote]

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