Reply to Being angry at someone you love

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What do you do when you are rationally angry at someone who has really harmed you but whom you still irrationally really love? I find it impossible to stay angry when with this person in person, they just melt it away from me, but when apart I am furious. But then I don’t want to hurt them and love them again. Even though they hurt me.[/quote]

Not good.  Get therapy.  Lay low.  Talk with your support group.

Someone has harmed you. Red flag.

They may or may not have taken responsibility and made amends. Or maybe this is the 2nd or 3rd or 10th time.  [/quote]

That’s just it. They haven’t taken responsibility or made amends. Although they acknowledged that they did hurt me. I want to hold them accountable but am scared to bc I think I will lose them or they will lose love for me even though I think you can both love someone AND hold them accountable at the same time. [/quote]

Give them the chance to be held accountable, OP. That’s the only you’ll know whether they’re worth the stress and anxiety. [/quote]

The only way “someone is held accountable” is if Op or a third party intervener (therapist, mutual friends or family) demands corrective action. Hinting at it may work if there is any self awareness, or say you have a chance now to Do the Right thing. Now.  And if he balks and deflects you know he’s got issues.  If he sincerely apologizes and tells you his plan for not doing it again, you could try again. Or not.  [/quote]

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