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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]He may be socially immature but he also sounds arrogant and rude to you, frankly.  How about he having to have an interview skills etc coach and join a gym or whatever in s gangs for you NOT charging rent. He needs to know that his high aIQ doesn’t make up for his almost willful lack of EQ. [/quote]

I’m not op, and I don’t have an adult HFA kid, but I know enough to know that you are appalling.

Where did op describe rudeness? Please do quote, because I’m very curious to know how struggles turn into rudeness. [/quote]

I disagree. I know the type in denial their symptoms and diagnoses and pain they cause others. They never developed positive coping mechanisms and self developed very negative ones instead. This is too bad, because he will present narcissistic to people close to him at work or home. The attitude that he can do no wrong, will not go over well. [/quote]

OP here. He's not arrogant or rude. He's immature and has an ASD, which makes him rigid and naive in his thinking at times. But his colleagues have always liked working with him, as he is flexible in a STEM settting. If you've never had a child or close relative with ASD, it's difficult to understand. There's no narcissism. He can be very kind and funny and sweet. He loves our dog, and often says that he appreciates the things DH and I do for him. But I can't talk to him about getting a job or exercising or anything that would make him feel better. I think he needs antidepressants, but he says he's not depressed.

Have any parents been in this situation? If so, how did you handle it? Did you give your adult ASD child an ultimatum? Did it work? [/quote]

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