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[quote=Anonymous]I think this could be an example of gaslighting.  Gaslighting is hard to see because it’s a pattern rather than a single incident, and it’s the pattern that makes you feel crazy.

The gaslighting incidents usually fit into a larger narrative that the person doing the gaslighting is making about you.  If he always says (and tells other people) that you are bad with time management, or if he says that you don’t speak up for yourself in the marriage or ask for the things that you need, and he is left to “read your mind,” and that’s why you couldn’t get it together to get your work done on time or to get the baby in the car, or he is acting like you really didn’t ask him to take the baby because you don’t speak up for yourself, and you are lying about it now, then this would be an example of gaslighting.

I think the idea is that nothing is ever his fault, all of the problems you have are your own fault and due to some personal flaw, and that he consistently lies about examples of this “flaw.”

All that you can do is recognize it for what it is, stop arguing about it (he isn’t going to “come around,” and you are only going to feel more crazy), and lean more on other relationships for emotional support.  [/quote]

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