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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are specific ways of communicating so as not to escalate.

My ex and I switched to email only for a while when things were contentious. Or you could use one of the communications apps for divorced parents.

Send brief informative messages related to the kids/logistics.

Edit your emails to remove unnecessary phrases that can be read as snarky. the "surely you can understand," "as we have discussed multiple times." Just say what needs to be said.

Let go of having the last word or calling out bad behavior. If she escalates, don't respond or only respond with essential info. "I will pick up at 5:00" or "yes, I can take Larla to the dentist appoinment."

[b]IF she accuses you of doing the things that she is actually doing, just ignore.[[/b]/quote]

This is what she does.  I will ignore it.  Other people here who are saying I am the problem don't understand the context of the relationship. STBX is diagnosed NPD. [/quote]

[b]Some of us understand that your STBX has mental health issues and has bad behavior. However, it seems that you don't understand your role in your relationship, and your lack of empathy for your mentally ill wife says volumes. You desperately want us to believe that you're this perfectly rational person who's always on the side of right, but there's a reason you married someone with mental health issues who behaves badly. You want to cast her as the villain with you as the hero and you don't see how crazy YOU are to keep forcing this narrative even when you're divorcing. This is clearly more important to you than trying to create the best possible foundation for your children.

Get therapy to see your role in this, drop your end of the rope, show some compassion for the mother of your children, and try to build an amicable co-parenting relationship. Or just stay crazy. Your choice.[/b][/quote]

This is complete and utter bull.  Had this poster said he was the wife, you lot would be falling over yourselves to tell 'her' to stand up for herself and that now 'she' didn't have to give in to 'her' spouse's crap any more and so on.  He posted that he has stopped putting up with her crap and that she is being ridiculous about it.  He hasn't been desperate or crazy or anything you said.  The posters who are rational said the correct things - continue to hold your boundary, do not engage any more than necessary. [/quote]

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