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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband talks A LOT about how much his "home" workload increased when I went back to work. He was mostly graceful about taking more on and adjusting - but I just want to flag that it's probably worth a bigger conversation between the two of you about expectations around all household labor in your "new normal" and what does and does not need to change.

Just saying - this shift is not nearly as simple as you leaving the house for work and your kid leaving the house for school and your husband continuing with the same routine as before. But sometimes that needs to be made explicit. [/quote]

I struggle with this as well OP. One thing that works for us is assigning the thing I dislike the most to DH, so even if it's the only thing he does, at least it takes away the biggest burden. Usually that's making lunches. For a while I was on a big project that required late nights for me, so we switched it to getting up with the kids and making breakfast, so I could stay in bed an extra 15-30 minutes.

I still do the vast majority of the getting ready stuff. DH has to leave super early three days a week so I'm also doing drop off those days. On the days he WFH, I wind up doing most of the getting ready and even helping him with "his" tasks because otherwise they don't get out the door on time.

It's frustrating. But yes, you need to be explicit about the stuff he's taking on now that you are working, and not just assume he'll step in. My DH, at least, appreciates when I ask him explicitly for help with a concrete task. Do I wish he'd do what I do and just see what needs to happen and do it? Yup. But it's not going to happen and I don't want to martyr myself to that idea. So I give him clear assignments.[/quote]

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