Reply to Scenes From a Marriage- I was Mira

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[quote=Anonymous]This OP. Glad to see my post resonated with some of you as either a betrayed spouse or someone who had an affair. No way around it, this misfired passion of adultery is the dark heart of love and marriage.

I agree with those posted that I am a flawed, if not simply a bad person, for having the affair that ultimately led to the end of my marriage. Yes, this is true, no bones about it. I regret it constantly, daily, always.

The point of my post was to offer a word of advice to those of you who are struggling at home, in your marriages, with children. I also struggled with the things I see written about here- does he have Aspergers, why is he a messy farting jerk, why does he ignore me to watch baseball, why do I do all of the "emotional labor" etc etc. All of this can aggregate into resentment, and then when someone else warmly appreciates you, it's almost impossible to resist. But you should resist.

I also wanted to point of how beautifully (if not slightly exaggerated...) the actress Jessica Chastain portrayed her character Mira's very particular agony when she realized the depth of what she'd done, and the consequences. She loved her family and yet she behaved in a way that caused the implosion of her beloved family. Unlike in the show, my spouse and I did not reform any kind of relationship outside of the required communication about our kids.

Thanks to the poster who mentioned seeing oneself in art! True.

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