Reply to Making an ADHD kid apologize to the teacher and whole class after a meltdown

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder . . . I could sort of see a scenario in which a kid whose behavior has disrupted the class apologizes but is also able to use this as an opportunity to explain what it is like to have ADHD. What brings this to mind is that years ago my kid and a bunch of other kids with IEPs  did puppetry classes and learned to give presentations using Kids on the Block Puppets, specifically the characters who do represent kids with ADHD and some other things. They presented to elementary classes and it was amazingly effective at teaching them about their disabilities and giving them words to explain to other people. They got to the point where they could easily respond extemporaneously to questions kids asked. These were 9 to 12 year old kids doing the presentations.

I also think what OP learned, that it wasn't done as a really elaborate deal, is also ok.

[b]Plus, then when the other kids tell Mom and Dad about the kid in their class who tears up paper and yells also tell Mom and Dad the kid also had to say they were sorry to the whole class Mom and Dad are maybe less likely to start fuming about their kid having to be in the class with the SN kid.[/b] [/quote]

This post is outrageous. No this is not in any way acceptable and no one needs to coddle the parents who are upset that sn kids are in the same class with their children.[/quote]

DP.  If the point of inclusive classrooms is to teach kids, both SN and non-SN kids, to live in the world successfully, then parents don't need to be "coddled" but children need to learn how to deal with each other.  That goes both ways, and an apology is a great tool in the process.[/quote]

Apologies are not evil or shaming. It's okay to apologize to people for scaring them or disrupting their schedule. Also, please consider that this child may not be the only one in class with an IEP or who is working on behaviors. There may be one or more children in class with anxiety issues who could be very upset by an outburst. The apology can help those kids meet in the middle. It is not reasonable to expect everyone else's children's needs to be set aside.[/quote]

Absolutely not. Forcing my SN kid to apologize for every disruption he caused would be incredibly, incredibly counter-therepeutic. Teaching him the empathy and self-awareness he needs to understand when/how to apologize (including when he does not want to) is a long-range goal, and one that forced apologies would only disrupt.  Forced apologies are about fulfilling a sense of justice and manners, generally adult-driven; nothing at all to do with actually supporting a kid.  Especially in this case where the behavior sounds like it was purely out of frustration and did not target anyone.

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