Reply to I'm non existent in MIL's world

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact that you are now part of the picture doesn’t negate the fact that mom has a relationship with her son that far predates you and she shouldn’t be expected to just treat the two of you exactly the same, and every single text and interaction as a package the same now that you are married. There’s a big difference between actively excluding you and having a closer relationship/more frequent communications with the child she birthed, and the latter is completely normal. Do you make sure that every time you speak on the phone with or text your own mother that you also reach out to your in-laws?[/quote]

Let me clarify. I think I worded my OP funny to where it sounded like I said I should be involved in every text call between my husband and his mom. My husband and his mom talk multiple times throughout the week and text as well and I most certainly do not expect to be involved in every single one.

I was referring to times like when we are both flying together that she will just text him to say have a safe flight instead of both of us when we are both flying out. Or when we are both visiting her she will just text her son and say it was great to see him instead of texting us both and saying hey son and DIL it was great to see you guys.

That makes it seems like she wasn't happy to see me or didn't care that I was there or not. If I signed my name on a bday or mother's day gift yes I do expect to be thanked as well.

If she is texting my husband or calling him just to say hi of course I don't expect to be included on that.

I don't know if you read any of my updates because I know not everyone has a chance to read all the updates but I am following the advice some posters gave of adding her to a group chat with my husband and I and reaching out to her when we are about to take off to see her and let her know we are about to fly out and we will let her know when we land safely and looking forward to seeing her.

[/quote]

Meh.  My mom will text me to have a safe trip when the whole family is flying out.  She loves my husband and gets along fine with him.  She calls me to say thank you for a gift that we both gave her.  Ditto for my MIL wrt me.  I think you are making too much of this.  Saying something to one spouse is usually the same as saying it to both of them.  [/quote]

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