Reply to My sister is naturally better than me in EVERYTHING. Is it bad that I wish I could outdo her ?

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Reply to "My sister is naturally better than me in EVERYTHING. Is it bad that I wish I could outdo her ?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is annoying and it does suck.  You can continue to focus on it, ignore it, reframe it, or find something new to become the "better sister" at.  When I was a kid, I purposely chose things different from my sister. She played Tennis, so I played Field Hockey.  She went to college in the North, so I only looked at colleges in the South.  She liked Pink, so I liked Purple.  Etc.  Some things were petty- some things were big.  I was intentionally shaping myself to be different. Basically, when I could, I found ways to be different from her to limit the comparisons- because there were so many moments that the comparisons could not be avoided.   [/quote]

Op here. You know, I have really thought about this too. It would bother me so much when we were younger that we seemed to be enmeshed in many ways. We shared the same friends, had the same interests and hobbies and lived together. And even now in our thirties, we seem to have very wants and desires. She and I basically dress very similarly except she has extra perks such as expensive accessories gifted to her by her husband. We would both love to live in the same town but she has a larger budget so she can afford it while I probably cannot. Neither of us has particularly exotic interests so we are not differentiated that way. I sometimes feel suffocated by having her be my shadow. Only now she is eclipsing me. I view it as like, she has a better version of the life I want to cultivate. [/quote]

Ok, but OP you are only in your 30s. Life is loooong. Whatever life you have not isn't the end of the story. Go forward and make the life you want- and appreciate that things are not always even. Forgive her for achieving the things you want first, and forgive yourself for feeling jelous and unsatisfied. Once you have done that, appreciate having a sister who shares the same interests you do and just stop looking for ways to compare. [/quote]

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