Reply to Plans for supporting elderly parents causing relationship issues??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote][b]He feels pressure to provide for his parents (who never hinted before when they were living the high life that funds were limited). I feel absolutely terrified that this man with not enough of his own retirement and not enough savings for his kid to go to college is going to end up ruining my life financially because he doesn't know how to say no to anybody (parents, adult kids, even ex wife). [/b][/quote]

This should be the nail in the coffin on the idea of marriage to this man any time soon and probably ever.

I hate to join the chorus, but legally obligating yourself through marriage looks like a huge mistake. And don't be naive - once you are the daughter in law all the duties that the rest of the family is heaping onto your husband will be imputed through to you.[/quote]

Yep.  They have a lot of nerve asking their children for money after living beyond their means.  They will have no qualms about pressuring you once you marry him.  This will not be a happy family life for you. Their finances and his finances will be a constant source of stress.[/quote]

The writing is on the wall. OP is going to marry this guy despite all the red flags because she is in LOVE. Next year, when her daughter fills out a FAFSA she’s going to be shocked! Baffled! Caught completely by surprise that her daughter no longer qualifies for financial aid and has a huge bill directly because of her husband’s income. The mom will apologize, the step dad will feel terrible (but not terrible enough to help) and the daughter will end up with massive loans. Meanwhile the husband is going to burn through money to fund his parents and his kid. Old habits die hard and he will go into debt again. Eventually she’ll find (one of many) overdrawn credit card bill Which will stress her out. They will fight about money and divorce within two years of her daughter’s college graduation. The marriage will last just long enough to wipe out OP’s savings AND guarantee her daughter has maximum student loans.

Isn’t love grand?

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