Reply to Husband does not hear the word no

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, are you sure you are communicating effectively with your husband?  Here is what you said:

"I say no, because he plans to be out most of the day on a bike ride, and I didn't like the guy much last time he came over, and don't want to deal with him alone."

Here is what your husband did:  made sure that you would have not to deal with him alone.

Before you get a divorce, maybe you should make sure you actually made your desires clear.  [/quote]

and I said I didn't like the guy much the last time he came over. I said that point blank. He wants to hire the guy because he fancies himself some kind of 'helper of man' and that takes precedence over whether or not it makes me uncomfortable. He did not have to hire THIS person. And he sure as hell did not have to do it today because it was convenient for the man he wants to help.

Been married to him for over two decades and trust me when I tell you it's a pattern. He simply turn no into 'not now' or 'because'.  I suspect he's on the spectrum but I no longer care to deal with the quirks.[/quote]

You obviously have a lot of anger directed at your husband, and I'm sure that's justified OP.  But honestly, its not hard to see this as a communication failure on your part too - you said that you did not want this guy to come over because of x, y, and z.  Your husband made sure to fix the reasons for your concern - he took care of x, y, and z.  In his mind, there was no longer any reason for you not to want this guy to come over.  If what you meant was "Honey, under no circumstances do I want this guy coming over," then that is what you should have clearly said.

Perhaps some therapy and counseling on how to listen and communicate is in order before divorce?[/quote]

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