Reply to How to survive separating in place with a cheater

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hell no. If he wants to blow up your world, he can be the one to move out.  You have to be separated for a year before divorce, you don’t have to do it in the same house!  Some people choose to, to save money, but no, this divorce is 100% him so he can move out into a crappy apartment.[/quote]

He refuses to move out. He is pressuring me to just be civil and amicable. He keeps telling me we can still be civil with each other.[/quote]

This is where you hold your ground. Absolutely not.  He is not allowed to have whatever he wants. Life does not and should not work that way.[/quote]

I've asked him to leave and he said absolutely not. He's holding his ground due to financial limitations and the impact to the kids. He's putting this on me - pressuring me to be amicable and a kind coparent.

I would have done this if we went to counseling for 12 months and THEN figured out beyond a shadow of a doubt that we should divorce.

But he robbed me of that opportunity. He broke "no contact" during our marriage counseling and has been texting her daily since then. He says he still loves me and always will, but he keeps saying the damage is done. How can he still love me and blow up his marriage for a text-based relationship (he doesn't even see her IRL due to being in different states) AND expect me to be this kind coparent under a shared roof???[/quote]

He’s lying. He’s not in love with you. Please have some sled respect. You need to tell the kids that you are getting divorced. Make it official. Someone moves to the basement. No more family meals etc for a while. [/quote]

I think OP needs to move or get him to move. OP you need to move forward as difficult as it is. You will never trust him and he would end up doing the same thing down the road. If this how you want to live? There are better partners out there. He's not a good dad either to do this to his kids. 
I would start making moves to get yourself in a good position. Talk to a lawyer and get the ball rolling.  As for co-parenting I would only talk to him concerning the pickup and drop off, and by text only. He would be out of my life except for that. In fact, if I met someone and ended up marrying. He and I were the parents. The ex could parent on their end when the kids were there. My point is remove yourself from his world completely.  Please don't do the Pick Me dance, it's beneath you.[/quote]

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