Reply to I feel like I was a much nicer and kinder person when I was younger.

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Reply to "I feel like I was a much nicer and kinder person when I was younger."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I used to think I was nicer. I n ow realize I was codependent. I had poor boundaries and would do anything for anyone searching for approval. Now I have boundaries and am there for my family and those who mean the most to me. I am less of a people pleaser. I can smell manipulation and I run.[/quote]

I posted earlier that I am less patient, but you raise a good point about what is "nice." Younger me was deeply committed to going out of my way to help others, including friends, co-workers, and community-based organizations. I still have some energy for those efforts, but I have learned to set better boundaries and to prioritize my own family's needs. Truth be told, some of my "yes" and "no" decisions are based on my judgment of worthiness, which wasn't always the case when I was younger.  In middle age and perimenopause, my tolerance for self-sacrifice in efforts to bail out irresponsible people has definitely dwindled. I'm still a nice person, but am more willing to say "no."

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