Reply to If you ever had an affair, how do you look back on it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Man here. Totally regret it. Marriage was very distant by the time I "went out," but we really did not work on the marriage before. Never got caught, but ended up leaving my wife after 27 years. We were friends and that was it, the kids were out of college. I should have tried to work on things, but we were not compatable in the end. I (we) should have worked on it. If it did not work then we should have split and then looked elsewhere. I still feel like a pig about the whole thing. [/quote]

Honestly, when you say you were not compatible even without trying, it's already making a decision and so not giving your all.  I realize you didn't try anyway but the point is that either you think you can or can't....both are true.  You still have not realized that it's about your mindset and you got the results you wanted (cheating/failure in marriage etc.).   You're blaming the marriage but it sounds like it's a you problem.  It's too bad that others faced consequences and that you still aren't very aware of your thought processes.  [/quote]

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