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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Al-Anon and the “Getting Them Sober” series by Toby Rice Drews.

Brutal honesty is that you should divorce, especially if you want kids. Alcoholics rarely get better, even if they quit, relapse is highly likely (I come from a large family of alcoholics). If you have children, you’ll be trying to shield them from his drinking, which will get worse with time.

But it’s really hard to untangle yourself and usually takes a few years before you’re ready to leave. So just build up support for yourself as much as you can. [/quote]

Agree with this. Focus on your boundaries. All you can control is whether or not you remain or walk away and at what point. There is a chance he might stop drinking if he realizes what he would lose if you were to walk away, but this would be because he realizes it within him. It would be HIS LOW. Not because you somehow controlled that outcome by making a threat.

Go to therapy. Figure out your boundaries. Strengthen yourself. Disentangle yourself from any codependent dynamics so you can see your relationship and him and yourself clearly.

Fwiw I have a drinking problem (am sober many years now), and am familiar with spouse with drinking problem too. We had to work through a lot of this in our first 10 years of marriage and I remain pretty vigilant around alcohol but also other issues too that are underlying. The thing is… there are always underlying issues so ignoring it will not make it go away.[/quote]

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