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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you’re a shit person for having an affair, and I think infidelity is its own form of abuse, but I also think that in no way excuses or justifies the abuse committed against you.

Get out and work on yourself to become a better person and to create better boundaries to protect yourself from abuse.

BTW, your AP has sold. you a sob story about his life to justify his relationship with you.  When I read my now exDH’s emails to his AP, they were full of the same kind of “I am stuck in this marriage” rhetoric you describe.  But, the reality we had sex multiple times a week and when I confronted him about the affair, he begged me to stay. Even after I ended things, he he worked for a couple more years trying to get me to reconcile, but I refused.

APs (both you and your AP) have serious character flaws. They lie, manipulate, engage in delusional thinking, and create double lives and fantasies.  Your AP is manipulating and abusing you in a way that is different from your husband’s abuse.

Again, please get out and get therapy and abstain from relationships for a couple of years while you work on yourself.

[/quote]

100%. All of this![/quote]

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