Reply to Should I have a second kid at 38 (DH 52), or are we just too old?

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Reply to "Should I have a second kid at 38 (DH 52), or are we just too old? "

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[quote=Anonymous]It sounds like you could bridge over the next few years with more nanny care.  Get a weekend nanny when your DH travels.  If he feels he is too old, I wouldn't push him, but the really physically active part of parenting will ease up in 6 years or so and the nanny can take on a lot of it.  If he truly wants the baby it's not insurmountable.

Having an older parent can be socially awkward, especially if he's not healthy.  But I think the worst way it is hard because it may thrust them into eldercare and loss at a young age when they're not ready to handle it.

Here's the thing about the adult children, though.  They might not be less time-intensive than they are now.  What happens when they have children of their own and want your DH to be the doting grandpa?  Or what if a real actual problem crops up that requires more than occasional visits?  How will you feel about all of this?

Honestly, I don't really understand why you would marry someone with adult children if it bothers you that he would visit them.  How often does he actually visit them?  Would you feel better about it if he didn't travel for work?

All too often in second marriages, there just isn't enough Dad to go around.  Not enough time, not enough energy, not enough money, not enough attention.  But the new wife is young and naive, doesn't know much about parenting older children and young adults. The DH wants the new wife, wants the new kids, wants everyone to be happy, but he's just not able to meet everyone's expectations.  That's the way it goes.[/quote]

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