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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

1. Not a race/class issue.  Fiancée is white with MC background.

2. About the long engagement.  We were engaged when I was finishing my time in the navy and waited until we could afford a house and wedding without taking on debt.  Covid added a year to our engagement time.

I appreciate the helpful responses.  This is agonizing on many levels for both of us.  I don’t know how my mom will be long term.

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Why does she think your fiancée is a “thug”?[/quote]

OP Here.

Mom has 3 main complaints (my thoughts in parentheses):

1.  Fiancee doesn't appreciate how hard I've worked and never will.  Basically mom thinks that fiancée is a golddigger.   (We bought a nice house recently and the down payment money came from my savings, I'm fine with that because we're a partnership on other fronts).
2.  Fiancee apparently didn't respectfully converse with my mom the last few times they met (this is all pre-covid, I don't remember these interactions but I find it hard to believe my fiancee would say anything remotely inappropriate) (also, she is bringing this up 2 years after the fact which just seems odd).
3. My fiancee and I had a bad fight about 3 weeks ago surrounding wedding planning and my mom overheard the fight.  Since then she's been expressing her doubts about fiancee being "understanding" or "flexible".   (I think all couples fight during stressful times, this was the first time my mom heard about one of our fights).

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