Reply to I'm a 53 year old woman and I just found out my Dad (died 6 year ago) was gay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I found out my dad was gay when I was 41 and I totally understand your feelings.  It's not homophobia; it's simply a retelling to yourself of many of your life and family stories through the lens of this news.  I began realizing that most of my father's books were biographies of gay and bisexual men but I had never thought about that before ("He just finds them interesting").  Most of his friends were gay.  I had never thought about so many things.  Like you, my parents were still married.

I had many concerns about whether I was conceived in love and I strongly believe that both of us, OP, were conceived in loving relationships.  Times were different then.[/quote]

Thank you so much for this. I appreciate this, this is how I'm feeling, but also grieving that I never got to "know" him as his true person. This is going to take some time. It's also difficult that my mom swore me to secrecy. I'm not sure that was a fair ask. She's still hiding him, and I feel strongly that he deserves to be remembered, at least by his children, for who he was. Really was. [/quote]

PP here.  It's a little easier for me because my father is still alive but I also have that feeling that I will never really know him.  He is a many of secrets in fundamental ways.  Please know that your father does deserve to be remembered and that you ARE remembering him.  Take care of yourself.[/quote]

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