Reply to Requesting thoughtful or loving gesture suggestions

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Reply to "Requesting thoughtful or loving gesture suggestions - spin off of 30+ thread"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of the posts on the sex frequency of people of 30+ year olds thread got me thinking.  It was, if a woman doesn't feel loved, their desire for sex drops to very low or non-existent.  There was another post that said that men "woo" their wives before marriage (dates, flowers, etc) and enjoy a high frequency of sex.  And that after marriage, the "wooing" stops and sex frequency plummets.

I am beginning to understand that many times a low frequency DW is due to other reasons (bored with one partner, hormones, etc) and that is out of my contro as a DHl.  But I would like to step up my post marriage "woo" game to make my DW feel appreciated and loved since that is within my control.  I feel like after so many years of marriage, I haven't cultivated that thoughtfulness and love that I did when we were dating and if I'm honest with myself, it is more centered around doing the dishes, grocery shopping, driving the kids around, etc, basically household or family things.  I need to step up my game to show my wife that I value her and appreciate her.
[b]
If you are a DH, can you tell me what you do to make your DW feel loved?

If you are a DW, can you tell me what your DH does that makes you feel appreciated?[/b]

The results in the bedroom are going to be the results regardless and that's not my primary goal (but I am not going to turn down appreciation sex if that comes up) but I would like to do my best during these kid years so that there is some spark left after the kids fly the coop. [b] I love my DW and know that she is tired and beat up in this season of life and I have to do better to help carry our relationship through this tough season.[/b]  [/quote]

i'm crying reading this. i wish you were my DH. i feel so unseen.[/quote]

You are seen.  Just flip the narrative.  You can only control what you can control.  Start investing into the relationship with your DH.  [/quote]

I have been. I'm the same pp who said I've planned executed coordinated all the last dates I can remember.  DH has a good time, we usually have a good time, but nothing is reciprocated.
He used to be the most doting man. flowers, love notes, dates, etc
When i said to him straight up- Its your turn to plan the next date...he says yes i'm up next. Then nothing. He is checked out and admits it. And then wonders why we are not intimate..

How many times do I keep throwing time money effort at a dead fish?  It's a one way street and I am over it.[/quote]

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