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[quote=Anonymous]I wish I could say that it’s little gestures, but for me, it’s really the big things that color how I interpret the small things.  When we have agreed or compromised on the big things, I have seen the little things as sweet and romantic, and the times he has just done what he wants without considering my opinion, I have seen any romantic gestures as cloying and coercive.

Big things:  Where to live (what city/which house), what religion to practice, how many children to have, if/how much we both work (this includes actually providing real support in managing the house/kids if you are both working full time or taking on the lion’s share of it if you are a SAHD), what to do when someone in your immediate family (you, your wife, or one if the kids) has a serious of life threatening illness

I know that men have trouble talking about these things, and it may seem easier to just give in or to say “my way or the highway,”  but I really think there are only so many times that someone can make a unilateral decision on these big issues.  A good marriage can withstand if a couple of times, but if you do it too often, your marriage will crumble, and no amount of cuddling, thanking her, or buying flowers “just because” is going to bring it back.  [/quote]

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