Reply to I think I need to back out of my maid-of-honor gig

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Reply to "I think I need to back out of my maid-of-honor gig"

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[quote=Anonymous]Okay I'm going to offer a different view. And I'm NOT bashing you. But if my best friend or sister was getting married, come hell or high water I would be there by her side. I'm not saying that you're to blame in any way for this, but if it's not a difficult decision, and not something you'd be willing to put on a card, there may be an issue of your not being as close to the bride as she thinks, so maybe a better maid of honor is in order. That said, I have NO judgment for you on backing out. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding, of a friend I hadn't seen in ages, and the closer it got, the more it seemed crazy to spend that money on a dress and the travel to the west coast. If it were my sister, my best friend, it would have gone on a card and (within reason, of course, no thousand dollar dresses, resorts, vegas bachelorettes!) been figured as one of those things in life. It's not just a wedding, it's making a friend a priority.

Again, though, if you cannot afford it, you cannot afford it. So please take this with the grain of salt it is intended with. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, (refer back to fact that I also backed out of being in wedding and didnt' even have a job loss!) so much as to look at it a different way. Perhaps, instead of saying you cannot be a maid of honor in the wedding, you should tell her you're really struggling with the decision, and can you talk to her about it. Explain you're having trouble figuring out how you'll pay for it, it's causing you tremendous stress, and as much as you love her, you don't think you can afford to be her MOH. If she has the resources, she will pay your way. If she does not and still loves you, she'll try to keep things as low cost as possible. If she's pissed and you explain it as honestly as you can, run from a friend like that.

Good luck with your decision! [/quote]

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