Reply to Dressing a girl like a boy and then getting upset .....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I don't see this mom's hopes for a gay child to be any different than a straight mom's hope for a straight child, and there are any number of ways that a parent can wish that without sounding like a jerk[/quote]

I feel like it is a little odd for a parent to have a "hope" either way about a child's sexuality when the child is very young.  I have an almost 3 year old that loves the color pink, playing with dolls, and mostly plays with little girls (as opposed to boys).  Maybe he will be straight, and these are just his preferences.  That's fine.  Maybe he will be gay.  That's fine too.  It is just hard to imagine any sexuality associated with him at this point.[/quote]

OP here. I agree with above poster( 8 seems a bit premature to be trying to settle the question of sexuality) My only hope is that I'll be good at supporting whoever my DC is when we get there. I do want to caution though in that I don't know for sure that my friend is "hoping" that her daughter will identify as gay . I did not want to flat out ask her as I have said many times on this thread, I am a heterosexual and as such there is much I do not know about the very personal experience of discovering that your sexuality is homosexual or the challenges of  coming out.  I don't want to ask an unsensitive and uninformed question. However, I only see what I see, which is that my friend has bought only boys clothes since her daughter was a toddler and keeps her hair very short and now reads A LOT into other peoples attribution of male gender to her daughter , as in the comments that I have shared," see, he thought she was a boy too"...and.... "I think that there is something about her that makes them all think that" To me , it is OBVIOUS that it is the clothes and hair, but my friend seems to resist this. My question , and it is for the lesbian members of this forum to hopefully share:  what do THEY think of this? Can the lesbian community out there, particularly those who identify as "butch" chime in here? Can you share your experience with these issues ? I ask because I am trying to be a good friend , but don't know what to say to my friend when she repeatedly asks me seems the road ahead is a loaded one.

BTW, it is well beyond reacting to comments about appearance. My friend is convinced that her 8 year old has a "crush" on a girl in her class when to me it sounds like typical popular girl syndrome. She has commented on how her daughter prefers gender neutral bathrooms and on and on... don't want to post too many specific details here, but trust me, it is WAY beyond just comments guessing the child's sex.

AS I said in multiple posts, this is a good friend and I am trying to understand, but I am not a lesbian , let alone one who identifies as "butch" so I am at a loss as how to weigh in and I am being asked to repeatedly. For example, " did you see THAT , that guy just called her he" " Why do you think , people think that?" HELP[/quote]

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