Reply to Dressing a girl like a boy and then getting upset .....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]I don't see this mom's hopes for a gay child to be any different than a straight mom's hope for a straight child, and there are any number of ways that a parent can wish that without sounding like a jerk[/quote]

I feel like it is a little odd for a parent to have a "hope" either way about a child's sexuality when the child is very young.  I have an almost 3 year old that loves the color pink, playing with dolls, and mostly plays with little girls (as opposed to boys).  Maybe he will be straight, and these are just his preferences.  That's fine.  Maybe he will be gay.  That's fine too.  It is just hard to imagine any sexuality associated with him at this point.[/quote]

I think it's a little bit weird to do it so overtly as this mom is doing it, but I can think of plenty of times when we say things about our daughter that assume she will be straight. Examples:

the joke-not-a-joke pact I made with my best friend after the anatomy screen that my DD will marry her DS
referring to any of her male friends as "boyfriends" 
any reference to "lock up your sons"

They're innocent remarks for the most part, but they do assume a certain straight, married future that may or may not come to pass, just like this little girl may or may not join the lesbian team or whatever her mom says now.

Like I said, I think there are a lot of reasons to want your child to be like you - the known is familiar, easier to relate to people who are like us, easier to understand your child's issues later if you shared them, etc. - and I don't think that there's anything inherently wrong with wanting that. When you attempt to force it, though, it becomes non-normal and I don't think it's right.[/quote]

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