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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I honestly meant for this to be an abstract question for discussion purposes, and not a dissection of my family’s situation, which is complicated and something I don’t feel like getting into.

I’ll share that I am the DH, and left biglaw litigation after only a few years for a GS-14/15 gig. I make a little less than 165k now (less when I transitioned). It wasn’t just the hours and mental exhaustion; it was feeling like a fish out of water, hating litigation and the acrimony, not aspiring to be a partner at all. Missed my wife and friends dearly when I was chained to desk or travel. Only times I felt happy was when work was light enough to be manageable, but not so light that I worried about hours.

But that transition has caused friction within my marriage, in some aspects justifiably so. It’s hard sometimes to balance your responsibilities to provide and be a good spouse with not feeling dead inside, and that’s something I struggle with a lot.[/quote]

OP, I will tell you that my spouse made this move at a time when we were a single-income family (I was home with small children for a few years) and I ABSOLUTELY supported it because it made him so much happier and because he had a lot more control of his schedule and was doing work that he found meaningful. We are now quite a few years down the road of the "non-biglaw litigation" path and I have not second guessed it for a second. I'd really question your spouse's premise that you have an obligation to stay in a job that makes you miserable when the alternative is earning a fine salary. (Yes, $165k is a fine, arguably way more than fine, salary.)[/quote]

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