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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not going to end well. [/quote]

I'm still stuck on the part where he would like to open up the relationship. I would sad I married such a guy. IOW if she doesn't he will end up cheating down the road.

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I would also be extremely upset about this.  I think fundamentally changing a relationship like this down the line suggests something is breaking,  particularly if this expectation is one sided.[/quote]

OP, if you are still reading:

The "open up the relationship" comment, even in passing, is reason for you and him to get help communicating. It appears you have not responded to that comment and you are still pondering it and letting it fester. You and he need to TALK very bluntly and openly. Rather than wondering "Is he feeling he's missing out?" you need to have some frank discussions. He is NOT going to know by osmosis that you do not want to open the marriage--you need to tell him why this upsets you and talk about what specifically you both can do to freshen up your sex life and improve your emotional connection (and yes, your moral connection to marriage as a monogamous relationship--if he does not believe that at his very core, you have a problem).

I would be looking for an experienced couples therapist or sex therapist ASAP. If DH is balky about that, he needs to man up in more ways than just "open marriage" talk. He committed to you, you to him, and you have children together.

The key reason my sex life with my DH -- my one and only partner ever, and we've been married 30 years -- works, and is actually improving as we get older, is because we talk. And frankly because I initiate. A lot.

OP if your kids are young -- he may be feeling the sex with you has dropped off, or you're not as adventurous as before kids etc. Hence the nonsense "open marriage" talk. Do you know for sure how he thinks about your current sex life re: kids, etc.? Does he know you would be devastated if he cheated or pressed for open marriage? I'm betting neither of you is frankly discussing these things. Please do. Get help doing so.

The pro-open marriage DCUM posters will come to crow about how wonderful it is but it's nothing except sanctioned cheating. People can call it a cutesy term like "hall pass" etc. but you don't want him to cheat. OP, so start communicating and telling him he needs to communicate too. [/quote]

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