Reply to Single Guy Friend (33) Can't Find a Girlfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've seen a lot of the posts on here implying that men have the upper hand in dating, esp going into their 30s.

So, what to make of my guy friend who's [b]never had a serious girlfriend[/b]? He is an Ivy grad, solid corporate career, reasonably good-looking. Dry sense of humor, supersmart, into culture, good talker and listener. Downsides? He is a bit pessimistic, and has some confidence issues, but nothing major. He is definitely a nerd, not athletic (but not overweight at all). No issues with abuse, prior baggage, family issues, cheating, alcohol, etc. He wants to marry and have kids.

He has tried to date mostly online ([b]in NYC[/b] where he lives), and it has not worked out well. He says it's because he's Asian and[b] looking for Asian girls[/b], and they all want to date white guys. He is a bit [b]picky with looks[/b], but it boggles my mind when I read about how hard it is to find a good man (especially in your 30s), and here is this awesome guy [b]striking out repeatedly[/b]. Makes me wonder if women are complaining about the shortage of guys while overlooking perfectly good mates [b]because they're not hot or flashy enough...[/b]

Or maybe both men and women overlook good potential mates while chasing some idea of a perfect unicorn relationship and then end up alone.[/quote]

Your post is full of reasons. 
Is he short? NYC women don't want short men. 
He's pessimistic, has confidence issues, but is picky about looks. 
How do you know he's striking out repeatedly? Are you seeing the conversations he has with women? Maybe something he's saying is a major turn off. [/quote]

He’s 6 ft tall, actually! He tells me about ask the unreturned messages he sends and the first dates that don’t lead to second dates. But I don’t know exactly what he says to them. In our friend circle, he’s a great conversationist and has many friends, but I guess it’s possible that he acts differently with potential mates?[/quote]

My 5’6” friend had no issue dating in NYC with very attractive girls. His secret is being genuinely interested in the other person, asking her questions about her self, small touch (elbows or tap on shoulder) to emphasize his interest. As far as looks he tailor button down shirts and always apply starch.

Maybe give it a try.

Culturally Chinese men like to talk about politics or finance to show off their skill/paycheck/knowledge, but it’s not really a thing in the US.

[/quote]

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