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[quote=Anonymous]Can you put what needs to be fixed in an email?  It’s not clear if he just doesn’t want to discuss it after work when he might have been looking forward to enjoying your company, or if he truly gets annoyed at needing to get things like rotting wood taken care of.

I’d start with sending him emails about what needs to be fixed.

If he ignores it or worse yet argues about it with you, I’d just hire someone to do the work.  He doesn’t get to get mad at you and put you in the bad guy role and then not let you solve the problem in an appropriate way.  That would be untennable to me to the point that I’d seriously think about if this was the marriage I wanted. Rotting wood is a real problem, safety being one reason, especially on a deck.

His refusal to discuss it even over email, coupled with his annoyance (which can suck the joy right out of the room) along with not allowing yout o handle it would make me wonder if he’s got a mental illness. Lots of mental health issues are masked under the guise of “saving money”.

As for the person who moved from a condo out into the country, I’m kind of on your husband’s side, and I hate condo living.

Maybe your husband prefers an hoa?  I know I do.  I also know my husband would hate living out in the country, he did as a boy and found the isolation crushing, something I didn’t realize until just a few years ago.

A single family in an hoa works perfectly for us, though it took my husband awhile to realize that too, it’s almost like he couldn’t process that there was a medium ground between out in the country and condo living. 
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