Reply to Skeletons in the Closet?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the DH who experimented with guys.  First, there is such a thing as a bisexual man.  For the life of me, I can never understand why women only think they can be bisexual.  I believe in the Kinsey scale where orientation is often not definite.  Second, in public I check out women but never men and have no desire to ever have an emotional relationship with a man.  I am totally straight looking and acting.

The reality is that I enjoy sex more with a woman but a piece of me also liked getting together with men.  I also believe in monogamy and therefore have no intention of being married and being on the "down low".  Do I ever get the urge to be with a guy?  Yes but I also fantasize about other women, threesomes, and wife swapping but I don't intend to do any of these things.  Don't we all have fantasies but know the reality would not be as expected?

I would never tell my wife, even on my deathbed, because just like she had a life before me so did I.  What counts is what we are like now and moving forward.

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I agree with you on most of this. I have no problem at all understanding bisexuality and have those tendencies myself. What I don't understand is marrying someone who doesn't get it. I also don't understand why bisexuality would be a deal breaker for so many women.[/quote]

Sorry, my previous post got screwed up.  What happened was, I met her, fell in love, and looked at the experiences with men as something in my past.  I did not want to lose her.

Let's consider a parallel situation.  Suppose my wife came up to me and said, "honey, I slept with women in college and was also an escort and just wanted to finally get it off my chest".  I would still love her and be very happy that she considered our relationship strong enough to reveal this. In fact, it would probably strengthen our marriage.   But it is so opposite for men.  Women experimenting is considered open minded, avante garde, adventurous.

But men together are labeled as gay because supposedly there is no such thing as a bi man, etc.    I really wish I could sit with her and say, "I experimented with guys back in the day but love you very much and never want to have sex with any other person for the rest of my life".  But she has gay friends and would absolutely be devastated and immediately think I am gay and probably still want to be with men.  It's the sad truth but again, I am monogamous and even if somehow she found out I had done this, there is no reason for her to have this fear.[/quote]

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