Reply to Thanksgiving issue - would you be bothered by this or am I being too sensitive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - Wow everyone, You all gave me some really great feedback.  THANK YOU!

Regarding me being a bad cook - LOL this could very well be it - but I've thought about it and even offered to bring a green salad (you really can't mess that up) and come to think of it, everyone does take  a serving of my food when I force myself in and bring it (except MIL and her daughter, SIL) and the issue isn't so much whether everyone eats it or not, more the process when we're putting everything away, MIL would just give me my dish with all the leftovers and say "you take this home for you and the kids" and take the rest of the leftovers and divide them up for everyone to get a little bit of everything for each family - not sure if that makes sense.

Regarding my house - that is an excellent point!  We used to have a dog  :( and I know my MIL thinks my house is usually not up to her level.  BUT, my DH is a SAHD and her opinion on the house is basically about her son, not necessarily me.  So, I'm not sure, but this is a really good point.

The issue isn't so much the food or eating it, it's more feeling left out - I'll try to briefly explain.  Everyone shows up.  the women basically hang in the kitchen either heating or preparing the dishes they brought and it's a social bonding thing.  The My DH and his brother take this time to catch up and get their special brother-bonding time while they watch and play with the kids.  And I'm left just kind of sitting by myself.  [b]When I try going to the kitchen to "help" they ALWAYS say, we have everything under control, go and relax and enjoy yourself.  [/b]So, it's more the social part - I honestly wouldn't be offended if they didn't eat my food - but more about coming and preparing.

Oh, and to the poster that suggested the dessert - It's a good idea, but that's one of the things that's already been assigned to someone - It's sort of her specialty and she takes real pride in her pies.  I don't want to insult her by bringing another dessert.

Thanks everyone for your input - I actually think that it might be the messy house thing and I never thought about that.  For those that suggested that - what do you suggest I do?  If they have the impression that I'm (or my DH) is a slob, anything I can do at this point to change their minds?  They don't come over often (actually, I can't remmber the last time they came to our house) and when they did - when we have gatherings, we DO hire a housecleaner before the party, so they've seen our spotless house.  [/quote]

I am one of the posters that mentioned the messy house, but this would bug me.  I think that your DH should intervene on yuor behalf.  If they cant include you then I woudl stop going.  Does the gathering inlcude other DILs.  Its seems odd that you would be singled out.  Are you from a different background.  Maybe your MIL is still not over the rocky start that your had.[/quote]

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