Reply to Siblings "marrying up" and fading away

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Has this happened to others too?

I saw that thread about the brother who is ignoring his own family and it struck a cord with me. My family and I grew up LMC and my poor hard working parents sacrificed a lot to give us MC-UMC opportunities regarding education. As a result of us not coming from money, my parents are now completely broke and struggling to pay bills. This has created a lot of family tension and my siblings and I cope with a lot of anxiety and depression and guilt over our penniless parents. There is a lot of strife and drama and guilt tripping sometimes by our parents themselves. But overall they are exceedingly kind and generous people who literally gave their all to us.

My one sister met and married a guy who in all respects is..."better" than us. Private school, Executive father, Glamorous UC upbringing and comforts. My sister is head over heels in love and is the consummate wife and daughter in law. When I first met his parents, her MIL gushed, "Larla is an ANGEL! She is perfection! You can take our son, but we will keep your sister!"

I was pretty dumbstruck as to what to say.Since she has pretty much ghosted us and our parents. Since meeting him she keeps saying our family is "toxic" and holds a grudge against our parents for things that were out of their control such as no retirement funds and sacrifices they had to make. We have a distant and polite relationship but meanwhile her social media feed is filled with her picture perfect husband and in laws.

I have made peace with her decision to distance herself from us but it still hurts. [/quote]

This is a classic case of siblings (you and she) having a different outlook on life, and different priorities. It was obviously important to her to have a more money and less worries. She doesn't see your parents' contributions in the same light that you do.

A distant, yet peaceful, relationship is the best way to go here. Learn to accept this about her. She is not going to change.[/quote]

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